GoNow Missions

Have any of you ever turn and run from something that terrified you? I have. During the fall semester, I learned about this organization called GoNow. It's an organization that sends college students that have a heart for serving God out into the world to serve Him. My boyfriend went to Portland last summer because of this. He told me all about it and how it completely changed his life. One night at the BSM, Ben (the head director) spoke about this organization. We were all given a brochure that had descriptions of all the different missions that were available to us. I began to look through it and there was one mission in particular that caught my eye. It was very, very much what I love to do. I had never been on a mission before and although I had thought about it before, I never went through with it. The thought of going on a mission absolutely terrified me. I didn't think that I was spiritually, physically, or mentally mature or ready to do something like that. I always had doubts about my abilities. I kept thinking that I wouldn't be good enough or that I'd end up turning people away from God instead of brining them to Him. I kept pushing the idea of missions into the back of my head and never thought that I would ever go on a mission. However, I could feel God pushing me and trying to tell me that this is what He wanted me to do, I just kept ignoring Him. Finally, one night during my small group, I had this strange feeling come over me. I automatically knew that God was finally snapping me out of my hesitancy and saying, "Child, this is what I want you to do. Do it." The very next day, I talked to Ben and he helped ease a lot of the worries that I had about myself. I knew before that God would never put me into a situation that I couldn't handle or somewhere that I wouldn't thrive. My only problem was the fact that I couldn't understand why He wanted me to do missions. I just felt that I wasn't good enough because of all the things I've done and the experiences that I've had. I couldn't get past that. I had no idea what to do at this point. After a few conversations that I had with my friends and boyfriend, I started feeling a lot better about myself. I became confused as to why I thought I wasn't ready or good enough for missions. It's a very silly notion when you think about it. Well, I finally started and finished the application for GoNow and I got invited to attend Discovery Day. Discovery Day is a day when you get interviewed and the leaders of GoNow get to know you better so that they can place you in a mission that you will succeed in. You get to tell them your top 3 choices of missions and then they decide if those are fit for you. I hadn't gotten Tennessee out of my mind since last fall, so that was definitely my number one choice. After going through all the Discovery Day festivities, I got an email that very night telling me where I was appointed. I'm going to Tennessee! I honestly can't tell you how extremely excited and blessed I am to be appointed there. That's what God put on my heart and to know that other people feel as though that's a perfect fit for me is beyond amazing. However, now that I know where I'll be serving for the summer, I have absolutely no motivation for school. I just want to be in Tennessee. I'm so ready to be doing God's work, I don't want to do my school work. It's very challenging because I know how important school is, but I can't get myself to care for it anymore than I do. It also doesn't help that I only have about a month left of it either. I know that I'll get through it and it'll end before I know it, so I've just got to take it one day at a time. Another challenge for me is to be away from my family for the entire summer. I'm very family oriented and knowing that I won't see them for two months straight is difficult for me. I hate that I won't be with them, but I know that this is what God wants me to do. By serving this summer, I already know that my life will be changed. I'll be able to use what I learn in my every day life. It's definitely going to benefit me in the long run and I can't wait to experience it.